Trickle Down

I am amazed by people. Bewildered, confounded and truly just amazed. This is actually saying a lot because once upon a time I really hated most people. I have a new found hope in humanity and I am only sorry it took such a tragic event to open my eyes.

My husband’s funeral was two days after his death – I told a few close friends and my family about it. Yet over a hundred people showed up to gather round a crowded cemetery to bring their love and support and share their tears with me. There were people there who I maybe said hello to in the neighborhood – people there I didn’t even know liked me. I was stunned. I remember standing next to the grave listening to the words of the Rabbi and seeing a sea of faces of people who cared so much about my husband - I only wish he knew how much he was truly loved – maybe it would be a different day.

There are so many lives connected to mine – more so than I ever realized. The way this tragic event has trickled down, across so many people’s lives makes me so sad. This didn’t just happen to me and my children – this happened to us all. From the community I live in now back to the people from my husband’s childhood – tears are falling from so many far and wide. I wish I was spreading happiness and peace to these people instead of sorrow. In a way I feel uplifted by their sorrow – I must be strong for my family and for others. I need to show them that if I can get through this so can they. I must climb up from the very thing trying to tear me down.

I hear stories of people who have reconciled difference over petty events. After something like this hits so close to home, you realize that life has meaning and value. We should stop and take inventory about what is important in life, stop holding grudges and release ourselves of the nonsense that just really doesn’t matter.

I am blessed in so many ways it is hard to keep track. My family is there for me always and I am grateful. My friends are amazing beyond belief. Each day I am reminded at how wonderful they are, as they all in their own way stop at nothing to show me support and kindness. I would be lost without them all. But it is the strangers who cause me to sob uncontrollably. The random people whose names I don’t know who stop me on the street to give me books on grief – a smile – and even a $20 for groceries. People who I never saw before and may never see again – these people give me hope.

My children will be well cared for by me, my family and friends – but it is nice to know that strangers are looking out for them as well.